


Tears Fall Like Volleyballs

by NeverFearToDream



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Trans, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Graphic Description, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Nishinoya Yuu, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 15:08:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverFearToDream/pseuds/NeverFearToDream
Summary: Story pulled for construction. (See chapter 14 for details)





	1. Chapter One: If He Had Known

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!! --
> 
> The themes of rape and past sexual abuse start out early in this story, and if you are triggered by this please be careful and/or don't read this! I don't want to harm anyone with my story and this is a major theme of the story so please be cautious!
> 
> Also, I don't own Haikyuu!! in any incarnation, the only thing I can lay claim to is my OC and plot. (I just found this lovely anime and binged it, so if there are differences between characterization in manga and anime, I'm going purely based on the anime)  
> \--
> 
> This is an alternate universe story where the timeline is similar but a little skewed. The story begins in Hinata's first year, the beginning of the Volleyball season. I don't know too much about Volleyball myself, so the detail given to things related to games and tournament timelines will probably get more explicit as I study up on it! 
> 
> (The Title is a working Title, so just a warning that it's almost guaranteed to change in the near future!)


	2. Chapter Two: Phone Calls in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Kageyama's POV! He's not happy with Hinata...


	3. Chapter Three: Don't Say That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! 
> 
> There is a section in the chapter with homophobic/ transphobic language! Please be careful if this is harmful to you or triggering, and tread carefully!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you didn't know, GSA stands for Gay Straight Alliance! I honestly don't know if this organization is common or called the same thing outside of the United States, but I just went with the term I was familiar with. 
> 
> Also! I did some quick and dirty research on the breakdown of the Japanese school system, and elementary is grades 1-6, Middle School (or Junior High) is three years, and High School is three years. Fifth graders are 10-11 years old, and Year One Middle Schoolers are 12-13. I hope that helps give you a better idea of how old Hinata and Takagi were when everything was happening.


	4. Chapter Four: Hypotheses and Soundboards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is lighter then the rest, a little bit of a breather!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't know, a 'pack' in this case is a flaccid silicone penis used by transgender men. It fits in a harness and is worn under the clothes. So, like a binder is worn to remove the appearance of breasts, a pack is worn to create the appearance of a penis.


	5. Chapter Five: Ruminations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I like to upload quickly but the holidays slowed me down big time! This chapter is a short bridge, setting up the things I want to happen next, so expect another update very soon! I hope everyone had a great holiday season, and a wonderful New Year!


	6. Chapter Six: It Wasn't Fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING
> 
> This chapter contains rape, however it's not incredibly graphic. Remember to be safe, and if this is sensitive for you, tread carefully if you decide to read anyway, okay? I don't want anyone getting hurt.


	7. Chapter Seven: Not Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter mentions sexual assault, but rather non-graphically. Still, please be careful if this is a sensitive topic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry it took longer for this chapter, but it's a bit longer then the last I think so hopefully that makes up for the wait a bit! I kept putting off writing this chapter because I wasn't sure how I wanted to do it, and it's a VERY important chapter. Once I figured out that it needed to be from Suga's POV though, things went nice and smooth! Yay!
> 
> ALSO! I don't know how old Natsu is in canon, though I know she's young. Based on the timeline I described in this shoulder, she's about four years old. I think I made her too young, but we'll call is SLIGHT AU, shall we?


	8. Chapter Eight: We'll Figure This Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for being patient, I went a little long again on you guys. Sorry! It if makes things any better, I was late because I've been working on a Kageyama/Hinata oneshot. It's completely unrelated to this story... but it's also total, shameless smut. I started writing it as a little pallet cleanser, so the hurt/comfort of this story didn't weigh me down too much! 
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient guys! And thank you so much for all the comments, they're lovely, I love hearing from you guys!


	9. Chapter Nine: We're Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT DEAD!
> 
> Hey guys! First off, I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging for so long, I don't like going that long without updating. February was packed with deadlines for me, and I had most of the chapter written since the last update, but there was no time for me to finish it up and upload. But I'm back, and this month looks like it'll be less GYAH, so chapter ten should be up soon! 
> 
> Thank you all, for commenting on the last chapter! It means a lot to me.


	10. Chapter Ten: Don't Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vague hospital scenes and emotions! Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY 
> 
> I didn't realize how long it's been since I updates and there is no excuse! I've had this chapter and the next (they were originally one but I decided to split it into two very small chapters) just sitting around waiting for a final pass of edits to make sure I was happy to upload them. I kept putting it off and then I got a comment in my emails and realized I was almost two full months MIA and IM SO SORRY!!
> 
> Thank you for prodding me with comments and hopefully I'll be able to get back on a decent schedule because I don't want to do this to anyone again!


	11. Chapter Eleven: Noya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene originally belonged to the previous chapter, but I decided to split it off because I felt like it deserved to stand on it's own. 
> 
> I do want to give a HEADS UP just in case, because the majority of the chapter is about Noya and his transition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is! Again, IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD. 
> 
> I don't feel TOO HORRIBLE, though. The wait I put y'all through was mean but I did visit my college for a tour and have been dealing with enrollment bullshit lately so I feel like a little scatterbrainedness is normal. Plus, honestly, when I write hardcore hurt/comfort, my brain usually supplies me hand over fist with the hurt part because it's the concept, you know? By the time comfort rolls around all the gears grind to a halt and it's time to actually think about how I want to lead the story. Thinking is hard! (I'm kidding! It's not that much harder, I just tread more carefully to try and make sure there's realism)
> 
> In regards to Noya!
> 
> I did my best to express Noya and his transition in this chapter; I myself am cis gendered, so I did my best with the help of research and good ol' human empathy. If something is amiss, tell me, and I'll fix it! Every transgender person's experience is different; some people have hormonal treatments and reassignment surgeries, other's don't, some have some surgeries and not others, you get the picture. In Noya's case, his genitals don't cause dysphoria, but the development of breast tissue did. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and thank you SO much for waiting


	12. Chapter Twelve: Oh, Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing graphic in this chapter! Warnings only for continued discussions of rape and the aftermath. 
> 
> Also! I could have SWORN someone in a comment asked to see Kageyama and Natsu interact, and that made my brain happy so I did it, but I can't find the comment... So apparently I hallucinated my own scene inspiration or something... like you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAHHH 
> 
> Sorry I'm a butt and this took so long. When I realized that I was being a dick AGAIN I tried to whip up a chapter for you guys, but that was a week ago... I'm sorry! When I first started writing this chapter I was dead tired because I had to wake up really early for the dentist, so I didn't stay up as late as usual, and I only seem capable of writing fanfiction in the dead of night. I've been on a gap year since I graduated 2016 and haven't had to keep normal human schedule, so the early appointment really messed with my nocturnal ways. The tired brain came up with a very hyper Natsu though, and I LOVE that part of this chapter, so it's not all bad!
> 
> Sorry for making you guys wait again, and that you all for the comments! I appreciate them, and they're great little nudges for me when I forget how long it's been since my last update (I have zero concept of time, I really have a very loose idea of what day it ever is at the moment. It's a little scary.) SO if I'm gone for a while, feel free to nudge nudge nudge! Hopefully, you won't have to. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And congrats, to everyone graduating right now, you did it! Woohoo!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: You Can Always Talk to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Depiction of panic attack and some discussion of sexual assault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late. 
> 
> I'm so HELLA late, and I'm really sorry about that. I honestly expected it a little, I just had a birthday and I'm getting everything together to go to college at the end of the month, so, unfortunately I can't promise to be any less snail like in the near future. So I'm really sorry, but hopefully you like the chapter!


	14. Author's Note

Hey, everyone!

 

First off, thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments and kudos on this fic! It really means a lot to me. As some of you may know, I haven't been posting more lately because of school, and it's continued into the summer break because after such a long time off of this fic, I'm going to need to review what I've done and figure out where it's going.

 

Because of the intense nature of this story I feel very... irresponsible leaving it up without a resolution. I am uncomfortable with people reading this when I don't know anymore what it really contains, or where it's going. I'm pulling the fic down until I can run a comb through it. Clean it up, fix any mistakes, and figure out where it's going. I pulled the chapter contents rather then just deleting the whole thing so that if anyone is still interested in this story, they can subscribe/bookmark/check in if they want to. (Also I'd hate to lose all the wonderful comments. Knowing people took the time to leave them gives me the warm fuzzies! And motivation when I'm stuck.) I'm sorry about doing this, but I feel like it's going to be for the best. When I know more about if and when the story gets put back up, I'll be sure to update.

 

Thank you again for all the support, and I'm really sorry to yank it.

Hopefully I'll see you all here again soon, with a clear directions on where this is going.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a comment! Tell me what you like, what you don't like, if you think I wrote someone OOC, any comment is appreciated!


End file.
